Trust
by johnlock5eva
Summary: First fanfiction. Johnlock fluff. John gets injured in his second tour of duty and sherlock realizes how much John means to him but with John still recovering can he help Sherlock when his drug addiction returns. not great at sumaries by the way
1. Coming Home

**a/n: First fanfic thought i should start with some Johnlock fluff. Wont get into it straight away, I want to set the scene a bit first.**

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Sherlock hated hospitals, in fact he loathed them. Why do they ask so many questions its not like they care. Luckily he had only come to pick up john. After his second tour of duty he had been shot, again.

"I'm here to pick up Doctor John Watson" Sherlock sighed, even though he hated to admit it he had been very upset at finding out that John had been shot. He was nervous, he had been told what happened but he didn't know if he could handle seeing him so soon.

"follow me through he should be ready to go"

They walked onto a ward, straight away Sherlock could see his friend. He looked vulnerable and sick, he was still getting his shirt on. Sherlock could see the bandage round his chest as he buttoned up his shirt.

"Right your free to go once you sign the discharge papers" the doctor chuckled, he was friendly too friendly for Sherlock's liking.

"OK, uh Sherlock hey... you ready to take me home" John croaked, just noticing Sherlock standing at his side.

"Yeah, Mrs Hudson is making your bed but I made a bed on the sofa if you want to sleep there. I'll be able to keep an eye on you there"

John signed the paper, threw the pen and paper on the nurses station desk.

"Right lets go"john winced, he collapsed backwards and Sherlock caught him.

"OK, I called us a taxi. It should be here" Sherlock said supporting John as they walked to the taxi.

Sherlock helped john into the cab. When they got home Sherlock carried his friend up thee stairs and onto his sofa, putting a pillow behind his head and covered him with a blanket. Mrs Hudson walked in, he explained what was going on that John was staying on the sofa well for now and that she could go.

"John... do you want anything to eat ?" Sherlock shouted from their kitchen.

"If you will eat too"John smiled he knew exactly what he was doing.

Sherlock cursed John. He knew that John needed to eat if he wanted to have any energy to recover. That meant Sherlock had to eat, to be truthful he hadn't eaten since he was told about John's injury. He was worried, scared even that only persons Sherlock trusted and truly cared for could have died and that fact alone made Sherlock wonder more than anything. He had never cared before what changed ? Why this man ? Why now ? In all honesty how could he know, he was supposedly heartless with no feelings he had started to believe it until now.

"What are you thinking about Sherlock" John said grabbing the kitchen work top.

"How did you know i'd been thinking ? You should have stayed on the sofa i don't want you to get hurt" Sherlock sounded deeply concerned for his friend.

"You have been out of it for over an hour and i didn't get an answer. are you going to eat ?"

"Fine, i will order us a Chinese" Sherlock grabbed John put his arm on his back and helped him back to the sofa.

Sherlock and John ate. Well John ate more he was starving after having to suffer hospital food. John felt weak and vulnerable, but he also felt safe with Sherlock. He got up and helped is friend clear up still wobbly on his feet so Sherlock kept a close eye on him, this didn't go unnoticed by John. Did the great Sherlock Holmes care about a normal person like John, it would b a surprise if he cared about anyone at all. But this was Sherlock everything he did surprised John not that it was a bad thing, it made things exciting maybe it allured him to Sherlock more. He had wanted to kill Sherlock before, maybe not literally but he could be so annoying. Playing his violin at all hours of the night, but he couldn't think that his life would be half as good without him. Sherlock meant the world to him it was the closest thing to family he had, He hated his parents hadn't spoken to them in years. Harry well he had fallen out with her, she had a new girl friend who didn't approve of him.

Sherlock was recovering but the unknown danger before John had returned was unknown to everyone. Sherlock had one of his "danger nights" as Mycroft called them when he had herd that John was shot he sunk into a dark place. He hadn't taken illegal drugs in years, but he had changed that. The night he found out he took cocaine (his drug of choice).

"Sherlock you didn't... Did you ?" John asked, he seemed genuinely worried.

"What ? hat did I do ?" had he figured out it was the last thing he needed to be worrying about his sociopath drug addict flat mate.

"You know what I'm talking about Holmes. But I mean the drugs. You took drugs didn't you" John shouted

"n-n-n-no" Sherlock couldn't bring himself to lie.

"OK, so you did. Just tell m the truth"John put his hand on Sherlock's shoulder.

"I'm sorry John, I'm so sorry. I had to nothing else could take the edge off"Sherlock could feel the tears welling up in his eyes threatening to fall.

"It's OK to have bad days, it's OK to feel sad" Sherlock felt the tears stream down his face, it burned. He had held back these tears for years he wanted to stop them, but he couldn't. He couldn't stop them, tears fell down his face.

John pulled him in and hugged him. He had expected Sherlock to instantly pull away wipe the tears away and pretend it didn't happen, but he didn't that shocked both of them. John knew this was bad really bad. He had never seen Sherlock so upset in his life. Sherlock nestled his head into John's chest, he winced with pain but both he and Sherlock ignored it. He looked up at John he was almost lying on his lap. John wiped Sherlock's tear stained face, and kissed him on the forehead.

"Sherlock go to sleep now" John hushed him, pulled the blanket over both of them and they went to sleep.

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**a/n: please review i would love to know what the fandom world thinks of my fanfic. thank you to my good friend coolerthanyouatleast who help inspire me with her creativity and genius.** **Tell me if i should continue this or not i dont expect to have many people interested in my story this is my first one and i would apreciate any feedback good or bad.**


	2. Gone

**a/n: thank you so much for the reviews i really appreciate knowing if my writing is working. i really hope this chapter is as good as the last. **

**Warning : Some talk of suicide at the end of the chapter **

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John woke up first, he just sat there watching Sherlock sleep. He didn't want to wake him up, he hadn't sen him this peaceful in ages so he just watched. He sat there for 30 minutes before Sherlock woke up.

"Hi... Sherlock" John spoke softly to him, not knowing how he would react.

"Umm Hi. How long was I asleep, Mycroft said he would come round"

"WHAT, Sherlock when is he coming ?" John panicked. Sherlock looked at the clock.

"Half an hour" Sherlock gulped, he didn't normally care about his brothers little visits but he looked weak and Mycroft would ask questions. Questions Sherlock didn't want to answer.

Mycroft stormed in. he didn't tend to knock. He stood in front of his brother, looked him up and down trying to decide what to say. Sherlock was lying on the sofa with John this looked completely wrong. But, they couldn't tell the truth because that was worse.

"Sherlock, care to explain what is going on" Mycroft's voice boomed.

"Well by the looks of things, you had a fun night. With Lestrade i think" Sherlock said quickly trying avert the subject. Mycroft went red, but stayed persistent.

"NO. Sherlock with you. Why are you lying on your sofa hugging John ?"

"It isn't what it looks like, but i'm not going to explain it to you" Sherlock was angry but also upset, John could see this and told Mycroft to leave well he made him leave.

Sherlock just sat there, what was happening to him. The Great Sherlock Holmes could barely contain his emotions, this was something to do with John. He sighed this was going to be a log day.

**Sherlock I need your help. It's a 9 ! -GL**

"who was that" John asked.

"Lestrade, he needs my help again. He says the case is a 9" Sherlock clearly didn't believe this, he is getting me to Scotland yard for his little boyfriend.

Even so they got a taxi to Scotland yard. As he thought Lestrade was waiting for them with his boyfriend. He could have some fun with this. He burst through the door.

"I knew you couldn't keep out of my business. I didn't pry into your escapade with Lestrade." Sherlock shouted he was angry at his brother.

Mycroft turned round, had this actually happened. He got off Lestrade's lap, covered his neck (it was covered in bruises) and licked his bright red swollen lips. It was obvious what was going on. Sherlock whipped out his phone and took a picture. He wasn't one for blackmailing people but this was his brother. As soon as they realized what was happening they tried to reason with Sherlock, but Sherlock true to himself stayed stubborn. He was going to put it on his blog and on John's too, if Mycroft kept bothering him about this morning.

"may I ask what the hell happened this morning" Lestrade whispered to Mycroft.

"I caught them together, they were lying on the sofa cuddling" Mycroft sniggered

"That is not what you saw, in what world would i cuddle with Dr. Watson" Sherlock shouted, about to go into one of his rants.

That was it. He told his brother that the picture would go up tonight, he was not going to stand for that type of foolish behavior. Why should he. He was not interested in women or men anyone in fact ! But John was different, he was so much more than just a person.

"Sherlock you have to stop this !"

"John, stop what ? I don't understand" Sherlock knew exactly what he was talking about but thought playing dumb would get John to change the subject.

"You know what I mean. The drugs. I can't help you anymore Sherlock, I'm done" John walked out of the door down the stairs, bidding farewell to Mrs Hudson.

He was gone. John was gone ! He had pushed him away. Just like he did with everyone else but this time he cared, he cared more than he ever had before. Why didn't he say anything. Sherlock felt tears fall, hard and fast. He cried and cried until his tear ducts dried up. Why did he have to be so stupid ? John was his best friend. His companion. Mycroft at that moment walked in.

"Sherlock, I wanted to apologize for my childish behavior" Mycroft grumbled.

"It's too late. You ruined it. You ruined us. John left because of you, it's your fault ! I wouldn't have taken it if it wasn't for you" Sherlock sniffed, he felt so useless he had never acted like this before.

What was wrong with him. Normally he was the great detective he didn't care if people died. It was his job why would he care. He didn't care when people left him, they often did. But John was something special and now he was gone.

"Sherlock, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean..." before he could continue he was cut off.

"Just leave, Mycroft. I want to be on my own. I need to think"

Sherlock brought out his violin and started playing. He played for hours and hours, until Mrs Hudson told him to be quiet before he woke the whole neighborhood.

**John I'm sorry. Please come back. Mrs Hudson is driving me crazy -SH **

**I can't Sherlock. I can't deal with you whilst I'm still sick -JW**

**I don't know if i can survive on my own -SH **

**Mycroft just text me saying that you told him this was his fault -JW**

**I was angry and upset, I just wanted him to leave -SH **

**Please come back -SH**

**Sherlock were you crying -JW**

**No definitely not -SH**

**Why did Mycroft say you had -JW**

**OK, I'm sorry I care. I care alot. Happy now. The great Sherlock Holmes actually cares about something, someone -SH**

**I didn't mean it like that -JW**

**It's fine, I knew trusting someone would be stupid. I'm stupid -SH **

Sherlock would just have to get over him. He didn't eat for a week and a half. He had slept less than an hour during this time. He was weak and frail. Mycroft came round every second day to check up on him. It got to a point where Sherlock was so weak he couldn't get off his sofa at all. He was ready to give up. He was ready to slip away in the night. No-one would care if he did. He wanted to die so badly he had nothing to live for. He was so tired he fell into a deep sleep. He slept for ages. He had no idea how long he would sleep for or if he would ever wake up.

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**a/n: I intend to continue posting everyday or every second day. Please keep reviewing if i get 1 more review i will update tomorrow if not I will in a couple of days. **


	3. Sorry

**a/n: As i said i don't mind negative reviews but on the basis of practice what you preach. Also I suppose this is one of thew problems with writing it chapter by chapter but the characters are in character and you will find out how in this chapter and the next. Another thing this is my first ever fanfiction so don't be hard on me**

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"Sherlock. Sherlock, are you OK" I was John it had to be.

Sherlock opened his eyes to find John standing over him.

"You were crying. You cried when I left" John sounded almost pleased with himself.

"I was taking drugs John ! I don't remember most of last night. Mycroft filled me in" Sherlock shouted.

John stood dumb struck by what Sherlock had just said he knew it was bad, but this bad.

"I'm sorry, I had to leave. I had to. I watched my parents takes drugs till it killed them I couldn't watch you do the same" John started to tear up thinking about his childhood.

Sherlock hadn't thought about how this would affect John, as usual he didn't seem to care. He couldn't imagine how horrible it must have been for him and his sister. Probably partly the reason for his sisters alcoholism, why did he care ? This wasn't like Sherlock at all, he could see 50 dead bodies and not give a damn about them or their families. He cared about John, he had never felt anything towards anyone before so he didn't know what it was. Should he ask John what he was feeling. But what if it wasn't what Sherlock thought it was, that could turn out bad. He had to deduce himself, it was probably harder than it sounded.

"John, can you help me out ?" Sherlock was nervous he didn't know how John would react.

"It depends. If it's one of your crazy experiments..." Sherlock cut him off.

"I've never felt anything towards anyone before so i don't know what I'm feeling" Sherlock gulped this was a mistake.

"Sherlock are trying to tell me you like someone" john started to laugh he couldn't believe what he was hearing but he soon stopped.

"I don't know. Maybe" Sherlock's voice was small like he could barely speak, he was normally so bold but he felt so small.

John knew he was treading on eggshells. If Sherlock liked someone that was a big thing. He couldn't afford to ruin that. But he couldn't help but feel down heartened, he had grown to like Sherlock (as more than friends) and now Sherlock had to go find someone else to run after. He had to know who it was. John had to tell Sherlock.

"Sherlock I have to tell you..." John stopped he couldn't speak, he physically couldn't speak.

"John what is it ?" Sherlock was worried had he figured it out ? What would he say ?

But before Sherlock could think anymore he felt John's lips connect with his in one amazing moment. It was to soon, Sherlock pulled away, but John wasn't having it. He whispered to him to stop thinking. and with that their lips were put together again. Sherlock pushed John into his chair only letting his lips part with John's one to breath. It was passionate and hot, Sherlock had never felt anything so good in his life. Sherlock bit his neck playfully and John approved...

The door swung open and who should walk... Mycroft.

"Sherlock what on earth is going on" Mycroft was confused but only for a second

"Actually don't answer that" He was amused.

"At least we aren't as bad as you and Lestrade" Sherlock joked

"That was just so that he would bring you to Scotland yard" He disapproved of his brother for saying this

"Of course it was"

**I need you and Watson here. I have an interesting case for you. -GL**

**Fine we will be there in 10 minutes.-SH**

"We have to go. Lestrade needs us" Sherlock pulled on his coat.

When they got there Lestrade was waiting for them. He told them about the case, a man found dead in his flat it was a simple open close case. Just as they were about to leave Lestrade spoke.

"Mycroft told me. And even if he hadn't it is quite obvious" Lestrade laughed he seemed to find fun in what had happened.

"We don't care" Sherlock announced as if he was hoping everyone could hear.

He turned round grabbed John, and planted his lips on him. He shushed John when he tried to speak. then pulled his lips away and looked around at everyone's astonished faces.

"That wasn't what you had expected was it" Sherlock gigged like a little girl at what he had just done.

"You know you're telling Mrs Hudson John"

"I don't know what you have to be worried about Mrs Hudson will love it" John teased

"That's what I'm worried about. Before you know it she will be looking at wedding rings for us" Sherlock seemed more pleased than upset at this.

They went home after this. Sherlock and John snuggled up on the sofa, John did indeed tell Mrs Hudson. And as everyone thought she was delighted with the prospect of the boys together as a couple even though they hadn't decided weather they would be or not. Nothing mattered to Sherlock all he cared about was John and he had him so life was perfect. They had lots to think about, this was just the beginning.

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**a/n: I hope this chapter was better than the last. As it seemed to be unsatisfactory, please keep reviewing I love hearing what people think (providing it isn't hypocritical) do tell me what i need to improve and I will try and fix it but also tell me if i have fixed it or not. Hope you enjoy this chapter. That is all !**


	4. new feelings

**a/n: sorry I haven't updated in ages but I have had some things to deal with but I'm back now**

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Sherlock woke up feeling content and for the first time fulfilled like he had actually done something amazing. He looked over and there was John on his bed, it was at that moment he had remembered yesterdays events and while fun he knew there would be consequences for being so stupid as to kiss john infront of most of Scotland yard. He didn't really want to get up he was happy lying in bed next to John. But, all to soon it ended as John woke up.

"Morning sleepy," Sherlock grinned.

"How long have you been watching me sleep Sherlock," john yauned

"15 minutes maybe I wasn't really paying attention," Sherlock sighed

Sherlock got up and made some tea for him of course, if John wanted any he would have to get it himself. He didn't get any cases in the morning at all he didn't care that much though he just sat with John. He wanted John now more though that before they were... Well whatever they are now. Not just to have around physically too. This was odd for sherlcok and he tried to represe it, every time he felt like just going over to John and ripping off his clothes he just walked away. This could be a problem for him he lived with the man.

He was brought out of his thoughts by John.

"Sherlock, umm..." Was all John could get out, he just stared at Sherlock in disbelef .

"What ? John. What ?" Sherlock franticly tried to figure out what he was doing that unnerved John so much, then he noticed it. John blatently staring. He had been thinking about John stripping and in the process it seems excited himself to much.

"Oh shit" sherlock managed to splutter out. He had to do something, John was just staring at his pants, oh god what could he do.

He did probably one of the most stupid things he could have done. He got up off his chair grabbed John thrust him in the chair and planted his lips on him. Doing so only arroused him more, and to his surprise he wasn't the only one he could feel John underneath him. Sherlock was sucking John's neck, and practically riding him. John just sitting there letting Sherlock do what he wanted. He couldn't help himself he wanted to get up he knew sherlock would regret this later but he couldn't, he wasn't concentrating on Sherlock at all. He didn't know how long they had been cought in passion but it didn't seem long, till the inevitable happened sherlock realised what he was doing he got up and ran to the bathroom. What had he just done ? No he was fighting himself he wouldn't go back out till he had calmed down. No john couldn't make him feel like this, it wasn't aloud. It was then he realised how fully he had wanted this and seemingly needed it too. His body had controls of him this had never happened before. He had to go and change, he couldn't let John see that his trousers were damp. He ran to his room and locked the door. No-one could see him like this overcome by his own body, his own desire to have sex with his best friend. He couldn't allow this to happen ever again.

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**very short chapter sorry for that just thought I'd spice things up a bit. Will it work out ? Will sherlock accecpt that he is a normal person ? Or will he repres everything ? Please rate thank you to everyone that has it means alot**


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